Mother's Day

If you know me, there's a good chance you know that I have a stronger relationship with my dad than my mom.

[My parents were divorced before I was 4 years old.]

Most of my favorite childhood memories were spent with my dad. I couldn't give you a 100% honest reason for it, either. I lived with my mom for the majority of my life until college. Growing up, she was the opposite of strict [or maybe I just refused to cooperate?] I don't have traditions to share or memories to recall from past Mother's days aside from being a moody, teenage girl who ruined a perfectly special day for the person who brought me into this world.

We may not always see eye to eye, but I can count on her to be there for me when I need her. She worries about me far more than she needs to. She's proud of me. She sticks up for me. She has saved special things from throughout my 25 years that I will appreciate and share with my future children. She celebrates just about every holiday [Halloween is her favorite] and she loves to dance. The things she's taught me are endless and the memories I have are forever.

She keeps telling me I'll know what its like when I have kids, and I don't know how many times she's told me that she hopes I have a daughter who is "just like me." [Now that's just scary...]

As I get older, I appreciate her more. I may be a spitting image of my dad, but I owe more to my mom than anyone. After all, I know what her heartbeat sounds like from the inside and I don't know what I'd do without her.

Hockey Guys and Giggles

We all have times where, for possibly no good reason, we're crabby. Upset with anyone and everyone, and just plain irritated. This afternoon was one of those times. The entire day has been a bit of a rollercoaster.

Up: a clear, sunny morning drive to work
Down: my parking spot that caused me to get to my desk two minutes late

Up: a new maxi skirt [& a compliment from a stranger]
Down: something complex thrown at me last minute
Up: a positive and encouraging mid-year review
Down: the drive home. downtown traffic has been absolutely horrendous due to construction. there's no easy way to get around it and it ends up taking me twice as long

Up: the hockey guys I ordered for Taysen came in the mail
Down: shortly after getting home, the rain started
Down: sitting in the Taco John's drive thru for 13 minutes
Up: a two year old. who lights up my world like nobody else [and if you're now singing One Direction, I'm sorry]

It's so easy to forget just how easy life can be...until you spend some time with a two year old. I spent this rainy, Wednesday night with Taysen. We opened up his new hockey guys, learned the words puck, net, goalie and ice, and wore a new shirt [because I have a serious shopping problem.] We shared tacos and potato oles on the living room floor, played in the rain with pajama pants and bare feet, gave kisses through the window, and got ice cream at Four Queens. We went potty on the potty, played baby, wrestled, read a few books, asked a lot of questions, counted to ten, and laughed. A lot. In case you didn't know, a two year old's giggle is contagious.

And now I'm going to bed with the best memories of just what I needed tonight.

 

Death

What a blunt title, right?

A couple weeks ago, the father of a very close family friend passed away after a short illness. I was beyond shocked and deeply saddened when I heard the news. [I found out via a Facebook post. However received an email earlier that day about him having another infection & not doing so well]. Dave didn't have any grandchildren, but I always called him 'Grandpa Dave' [and Grandma Mave].

It's never easy to lose someone you care about. And for some reason, my brain goes overboard and a million things run in and out of it. I think I had such a hard time with this because Cindy was her daddy's little girl. And, at the wake, she cried so hard when she hugged my dad. [His dad passed away when my dad was just 9 years old].

But, Dave was ready. He didn't want to hurt or suffer any longer. Nor did he want his family to. At what point do you decide to trust in God when it's a life and death situation? No matter if it's yourself or a loved one, it's hard to not be selfish. Hold on to the photos, items, stories and memories of those close to you and never let go, for they will be with you forever.

"Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy."